Why?

It's hard for me to understand why things happen. Why is it that there is so much evil in this world? Why are there orphans? Why are children starving? Why are people hurting; physically, mentally, emotionally? I am reminded that we live in a spiritual world. A world where the enemy is trying to attack at any given moment. Especially us. Us as in, God's children, he will do whatever it takes to bring us down. He especially likes to use those who have a direct impact on our lives. Imagine if somebody came up to you from the street and told you how ugly you were and how they are disgusted by you. Well depending on who you are, you may be slightly offended or you really just might not care. I know for myself, I would probably laugh and say who are you? But, the devil likes to use those who can actually have an impact. He uses the people who we trust, who we look up to, who we love. He wants to break us. Why does he want to break us? So that we can search question our faith. As I look back at these years, people have attempted to destroy me as a person whether they realize it or not. But, I live for a God who is almighty and powerful; the alpha and the omega. As I sit here and think of where I have come from, I realize that I can accomplish anything. God has NEVER failed me, even when I deserved it the least. His grace truly does surpass any understanding. He has a plan for me. I feel that in the midst of chaos and pain that we experience, it is easy to feel hopeless. I am reminded time and time again that I will persevere. He will give me strength to accomplish anything. So don't worry, smile; your Father is the King of ALL Kings.

The time has come....

I'm getting married!!!.... Well to teeth anyways ;) Before I start my last year of Dental Hygiene School I wanted to catch everyone up on some highlights that happened these past months.

I finished my junior year of DH school and it was one of the most challenging things that I have experienced. I have learned that it takes so much discipline, passion and dedication to fulfill your dream. Dental hygiene truly is my dream and regardless of the hardships I have experienced while in school, it has made me a better clinician and made me realize that this career is no joke! I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who helped me make it through my spring and summer session. So many of my friends and family took time out of their crazy schedule to come be my patients (let me remind you that each appointment is 2 1/2 hours and it can take 2-5 appointments). I have truly been blessed with a huge support team through this past year.

 As summer session in school was winding down, I was able to work more at my jobs; the Baseball Stadium and Forest Home. At both jobs, I am so very thankful that I have Managers who support my schooling and work around my schedule. I recieved a promotion at the baseball stadium and this was great because it has given me a lot more experience. I now know how to give excellent customer service even when customers are yelling at me because we don't sell 50 cent jambalaya anymore, lol! I have built many friendships at the stadium this year and I know that many of these will be life-long.

Now to talk about my experience with Forest Home. Let me just say that this is the greatest, most awesome job that I have ever had. The atmosphere is amazing and the friendships that I have made are incredibly blessed by God. This summer was a little trying, I shall admit, but at the end of the day it helped build my character. I was able to see that in light of every situation, whether it be good or bad, God is at work. I was thankful to have brought friends and family up to FoHo this summer who were able to experience the amazingness of my job (zip-lining, kayaking, the lake, rock climbing, adventure course, hiking, milkshakes, etc.). I love the opportunities that I have had working at camp!

Other than school and work this summer, I have had random day trips that I was able to take, lol. Sometimes it was nice to feel stress free and to experience things that I enjoy. I went to many Angels games which I have a blast at every time. I experienced my very first football game with my favorite team (Go Greenbay)! I finally got my Disneyland pass that I have wanted for so long (patience). I went to many family birthday parties. I go to go to the beach quite a few times. ALSO, the love of my life came back home with her Momma after being gone for 5 months! I have learned that the little memories, mean the most sometimes. Laughs, to the point of tears, are definitely my highlight moments.

So as I sit here thinking of what is most important, my spiritual walk, I will admit that it has been a roller coaster. I have had many weak moments these past months. I found what it really means to carry someone's burdens along with my own. I will say that there were times where I wanted to sit there and cry but nothing would come out. The pain from the past continued to try and impede on my life. In some moments, I will say that I fell for the devil's attack. There were moments when I felt selfish, unforgiving, broken, not good enough, and just plain sad. I am still struggling with why people do the things they do, especially to those who they "love." But thankfully, in the midst of all of my struggles, God pulled me away and basically told me to open my eyes. He was able to remind me of where I am today and where I have come from. Many of you who read this and know my testimony, can say that it is not by chance that I am where I am today. God has used me in so many ways. So why all of a sudden would he stop?? Exactly, he wouldn't!

I even had an AMAZING experience today as I end my last day of summer. I have a friend who I absolutely adore. She is also an aspiring Dental Hygienist and I somewhat mentor her. Well as I meet with her periodically, I am able to share with her what school is like. She always asks me how I do it and I remind her that without God, I wouldn't be able to. School is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. Over the past couple of months I shared with her more about God and also what I have been through. She wanted to know more seeing that she has never encountered a personal relationship with God. Well last week she came to church with me and loved it! I was so happy to see the excitement in her. She explained to me that she knows she wants something "more." Well today at church, she decided to give her life to God!!! It was an amazing experience for all of us, words couldn't even describe how she felt. And to be honest, I was shocked. I found that sometimes I feel like I am not doing my job as a Christian. So many of my friends are constantly hurting and searching for something more which leads them further from God. But I was reminded today that as long as I am His faithful servant, He will do the rest. So praise be to God that he now has another child in His Kingdom :)

As I enter this next year of my life, I ask for everyone's prayer. Prayer that God will continue to remain my main focus. I am living to fulfill His will for my life and sometimes I can tend to forget that in the midst of all the chaos. But, I am going full force into this next year and I know that God has some mighty things in store for me. Thank you so much for all of your support!!!! I love you guys.

The Ultimate Provider

SO MUCH ON MY MIND! Here we go...

This weekend played out to be like a movie. I went to work at FoHo knowing that it would be a massive snow storm yet thinking it will all be just fine :) WELLLLLL, that wasn't necessarily the case. Let me explain. Well come Saturday at work, I got to see snow fall!!! I loved it so much because this has not happened since 2008 when I was in Mammoth. It was absolutely amazing. For people to say there is no God just utterly blows my mind. So at work I was just enjoying God's little glimpse of Heaven! Life was great and my co-workers are just fabulous (seeing that two of them are my best friends).  On another note, God has truly blesses me with an amazing work place. I have such a wonderful boss who is such an awesome women of God. She pushes me to be the best that I can and encourages me to reach my goals! She makes sure to find away to allow me to still be employed at the place I love! So thank you Josie <3 Back to my crazy yet awesome weekend, well it was snowing pretty bad when I got off at 6pm so I asked a co-worker to drop me off at Feli's. I had to jump out super fast when we arrived to Felisha's because the people that drove me did not have chains and had to be careful to not break to fast or it could lead to a not so pretty situation.  So, I get to the house and dinner is made (yummmy) and we have a night full of laughter and manyyyy memories.

Well here comes Sunday also known as FUNday,, hahaha not quite. I wake up at 6am to get ready for work and since there was a blizzard that happened all night and was continuing to happen, my boss said she would pick me up to take me to work. She picks me up and I work in the coffee shop all day. Thanks to Megan who came to my rescue when I was bombarded right when we opened with men who NEEDED their coffee. The day was a pretty awesome day. I got to see the snow fall my ENTIRE shift while being able to laugh and have a great time with my fellow employees and customers. As 2pm is rolling around and I realize that my car is definitely not going to make it down the hill without chains, my Mom texts me and lets me know that Eric and my cousin would be coming up to rescue me lol. So that was a blessing to know that I would make it down the hill the same day, it was just a matter of time. 


Well my lovely co-worker Asja told me that she would take me to Felisha's so that I could pack my stuff up and be ready for when my Dad arrived. We are walking to the car and we asked the wonderful B&G guys if they would help us dig Asja's car out of the snow. Of course they said, "YES!" and the journey began. By the way, B&G deserves a lot more credit because they work their butts off. As Gabe and Jason are digging her car out, Asja is trying to start the car and it is not starting. In the mean time, since the guys wouldn't let me help, I am in awe of the snow and I'm snapping pictures left and right with my phone. As the guys finish digging the car out, Asja's car is still not starting! Come to find out, something is wrong with the ignition (or something of this sort) and the car needs to be towed. We thank the guys for their help and we begin to decide what the next move is going to be. It hit me that I should have my phone near me seeing that my rescue team is on their way but it is NO WHERE to be found. I start to panic a little because I was looking for it earlier but figured it was somewhere in the car. Well let me tell you something, it was NO WHERE in the car. My life began to crash because I thought, "there is no way I will find it in this snow, It's pouring down." Well sure enough I come to the conclusion that I dropped it somewhere in the snow while trying to get the car started, taking pictures and talking to Gabriel about how the world was ending. My heart began to melt because the ONLY thing I cared about was the 1000+ pictures I have saved on there. I began to think long an hard about what to do and it hit me, let's call my phone so that I can try to listen/feel for it in the snow (seeing that it was on vibrate). I kneeled to the ground and put my had on the ground. The next thing you know, the snow is vibrating!! I tore through that snow like I was unwrapping a new iphone at Christmas time, haha. Thanks be to God, it was still alive after being impacted in the snow for over 25 minutes. I knew Samsungs had to be good for something! lol.

The next move was to figure out how we would get to Felishas in order to pack my stuff. So it came down to walking. I'm not one to be all excited about walking a half a mile in insane weather but at this point, I did not care. So we began our journey! We were skipping in the snow being crazy as we headed down the hill. I really felt like I was in some kind of movie. Well at the end of it all, my rescuers made it up safe and put chains on my car. We all drove down the hill safely!! What more could I ask for? As we got down the hill, Asja and I had to eat. At this time it was 6pm and after fighting with the snow for 4 hours, we had had enough. We were beat yet we could not stop laughing while reminiscing the day. I went home and slept for about 11 hours :) Yay for rest.

Now for a transition, as I think about the weekend, I am reminded that God is truly the ultimate provider. In every single way, he has held my hand. Through the tears, losses, disappointments, fun, through it ALL.. he has been there.  A dear friend of mine has been texting me all day just wanting to know how it is that I have made it through these rough chapters in my life. I can say without a doubt that it wasn't because of what I did. It is not because I made smart decisions or because I was wise, it was the complete opposite. It has taken me a lot to become the women of God that I am. I still struggle every day with so many things but at the end of it all, I am grateful for God's everlasting grace and love.

Tonight at Nikos I was reminded of so many things and I would like to share one of them. A wonderful man of God decided to share his testimony tonight with all of us. As he expressess the trials he faced with losing his Father and needing a double lung transplant, my heart sunk. He then shared that he had cystic fibrosis and this is where I fell apart inside. My eyes watered up like a baby as this hits close to home. My younger cousin has cystic fibrosis and as a family we have dedicated a lot of time to raise money for this disease. The thing that really got me was to see the joy in Benny's eyes. He shared how he is so thankful that he is able to live. God has given him life when the Doctors promised him two years to live. It reminded me how big our God is. Why is it that we tremble when we face trials? We have a God who is mighty!!!!!!! I am just so grateful to hear this testimony because it was a great reminder to see that God is at work in all our lives.  Regardless of the disease, he still brings him praise and if you ever met Benny, you would only see that in him. He loves God and radiates with his presence.

With all of this said, I would just like everyone to sit back and look at their life (this is what I had to do). What is it that we complain about? What is it that brings us anxiety or fear? Whatever it may be, hand it over to God. He knows the path we are headed down so why not give him everything. He promises to never let us perish. My prayer for myself and for all of my loved ones is that we will accept God's grace and we will seek him in ALL times.  That we will have faith and never lose sight of his eternal promise. I pray that we will seek the lost through His love that radiates through us. Keep your head up everyone, we have the Ultimate Provider right next to us at all times <3

Here are some pictures of the beautiful snow that you may enjoy! Have a blessed week :D

 

 

YES!

Make a DIFFERENCE <3

Grateful to wake up to another beautiful day. Let's get this week started :)

Let me love you.

Sometimes things do not always go how we planned.  Life takes crazy tolls. But I am grateful that through these times, I am reminded of who holds my future. I truly value so many of you in my life. As my semester continues in school, things are only getting crazier. Keep me in your prayers :) I wanted to share the lyrics of this song I heard over the weekend, it's a truly amazing song:

 "Ever Since The World Around You Shattered
You've Been Looking Everywhere For Something More

Sometimes You Feel Like Your Life Doesn't Matter
But It Does
I Tell You It Does

Oh Yeah

(Chorus)
Come On Let Me Love You Now
Come On Let Me Love You And Hold You Through The Storms
I Will Keep You Safe And Warm
Come On Let Me Love You Now
Come On Let Me Love You And Kiss Away Your Tears
I Will Always Be Here

Come On Let Me Love You

Yesterday You Found Your Heart Was Broken
And Tomorrow Doesn't Leave Much Room For Hope
Today You'll Find That My Arms Are Wide Open
And My Heart, My Heart Is Full Of Love
(Chorus)

Give Up On All The Other Things
'cuz My Love Can Bring You More
And If You Take A Chance On Me
I'll Give You What You're Looking For

(Chorus)
Come On Let Me Love You"

This song by Third Day is really just an awesome reminder that God wants to play a HUGE part in our life.  He wants to be the center and the foundation so that he can guide us. He knows what is best for us and will never lead us astray. So whatever may be holding any of you back, surrender it over to Christ. He is listening :)

I loveeee you all dearly <3

Yaweh, Yaweh.

I want to start my post of by saying thank you... Thank you for giving me another day to live, another day to grow closer to you. Thank you for allowing me to follow my dreams. Thank you for giving me a healthy family. Thank you for giving me the craziest and most loving friends ever ;) Thank you for giving me two jobs that I truly enjoy. Thank you for your joy. Thank you for allowing me to build from my past. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for accepting me at my weakest points. Thank you for showing me your path. Thank you for NEVER letting me down. Thank you for everything God.

Throughout this week, I have had many highs and lows. Let's start with school of course. Taking 9 classes is something that still blows my mind. Sometimes I wonder how I do it but then I am reminded that I do not do it, alone. To be quite honest, I do not know how I would do this without God. Let me rephrase this, I do not know how I would have JOY doing this without God.  Daily I am faced with soo much but yet I can hold a smile. I genuinely love what I am doing because I have a vision that is awaiting me at the end of all this (missions). I was able to finish testing this week that allowed me to see patients for the first time who are not my classmates! This was a very exciting moment because I was able to start applying everything I've learned these past 6 months into patient care. From here on out, I will see patients three times a week! So please keep me in your prayers :)

On a good note, I was able to survive yet another week of school!! I try to allow myself to have some me-time outside of school. I decided that I sacrifice sleep in order to have a good time, haha. This weekend I was able to spend time with so many of my loved ones. I need to get away sometimes (mentally) and this consists of being around those who are truly there for me. Thank you so much to everyone who made this weekend worth while. I love you Meagan even though you beat me at air hockey, Jurassic park and basketball. There is something I need to share because it just cracks me up. So for all of you who know Meagan, she is one of the sweetest, kind-hearted people that you will ever meet and she ADORES animals, no matter what type (and I mean ADORES). She had never played Jurassic Park before so we started to play. Here we are in this jeep roaming the safari and this huge dinosaur appears, he is attacking us and it is our mission to shoot him.  All you hear is me yelling, "MEAGAN!! Shoot the dinosaur!!!!!" and Meagan replying, "NOOOOOO, I don't want to shoot him." Hahahaa, little things like that make me enjoy my friends all the stinkin time. 

I also got to spend time with Danette and Mike who just got their first house, congrats!! Who would have ever thought that kicking a bunch of kids out of the jumper would be so difficult lol.  And finishing off that night I was able to see my Auntie and Cousin. We talked about life and relationships. I love being able to get advice from godly women who want the best for me. It truly was great being able to share with them what God is doing in my life.  I also got to see my baby girl who just brightens my life :) and my best friend Carol! I am going to miss them sooo much :'( Then tonight I got to study and pig out with the one and only Feli Fel. Oh what in the world would I do without her. I could honestly write a 3,000+ word blog about how much she means to me. I love you Feli <3 I love ALL of my friends. I am also thankful for Eric and my Mom who continue to support me through this season in my life. I would literally be a mess without them and their guidance!!

Finishing of my post I would like to share a little about what I experienced at church today. For the majority of you who know me, you know that I am usually very happy and positive. I hate to complain even though of course it happens. But lately things have been different. This joy has begun to fade and I found my self in this state of feeling "okay." I am not one to settle for that!! I have been struggling to see why this is, why is it do I feel this way even though I am close to God? I feel somewhat alone. It is hard to match words to my all of my feelings but this is the best way to explain it. Nonetheless, I felt unhappy.  I was confused and wondering what should I do? Well today our sermon was on spiritual warfare. Something that I see the church stray away from because they do not want to "scare" people. Well, wake up call!! It is very real. The devil is out to steal, kill and destroy. Look around, he is doing it. He is breaking apart marriage, relationships, the school system and the list goes one. People are dying inside and becoming depressed, looking for love in all the wrong places. Well it was real to me that I was being oppressed in this spiritual realm around me.  I was not letting go of everything that has torn me apart in the past. I was not surrendering all that I have to God so that he could mend the pieces back together. It hit me and I was just in awe. In awe of his glory. Yaweh, yaweh.. you're love never fails oh God!!! I was being deceived that things were fine and dandy when in reality I was living with my broken past just tucked away deep down so that I did not have to remind myself of the pain.

Well let me tell you people, God delivered me from this. He is AMAZING!! Beyond amazing actually, no word can even describe Him.  I was able to embrace this state of joy; true and pure joy. I just cannot even understand his love and mercy. Why is it that God wants someone so unworthy like me to be in relationship with him?!! Because he is a forgiving Father who will be there even when His children mess up.  Regardless of everything, he is awaiting with arms WIDE open. He wants to walk with me throughout every season of life and guide me, just as a loving Father should. He desires to spend eternity with me,  his child. Thank you God. 

Life is not easy, but oh how it is AMAZING :)

Well it has been a while since I blogged and I would like to share some awesome things that have happened these past few weeks :)

Another semester of DH school has been ACCOMPLISHED! 6 weeks ago I found myself shaking as I went to place a needle in my classmates mouth to give them an injection. On Thursday, I gave 12 injections with minimal instruction and passed with a 100% on all of them. I also cleaned my first patient's teeth!! Now it is time to prepare for seeing actual patients in about 3 weeks.

Sometimes I stop and think about where I am at right now in life.  I have come a very long way to reach my goals. I remember being in high school shadowing my cousin and thinking, "I would definitely love to do this one day." Well, here I am!! It has not been an easy path and to be quite honest, it is only getting harder. But, there is hope :)

Being in a program is a lot different than any other type of schooling. It literally becomes your life and your classmates become your best friends. You find yourself laughing and even crying with one another because you are all in the same boat (on top of our cheesy DH jokes that nobody ever gets lol). This profession is definitely no joke!

On top of my schooling, I have also seen a change in myself. I no longer fear about what is to come in the future.  A few weeks ago I went to my best friend's job and began to talk with her co-worker who is an artist and paints on Toms. She showed me some of her work and I fell in love with it. So, I began to think of a design that I would like for her to paint for me. **I know this blog seems like it is jumping from place to place but just stick with me.

I went home that night and thought about what I would love to have designed on my shoes and here it is....

The verses I wanted to be depicted were Matthew 6:25-34 and Revelations 22:1-3.

In Matthew 6:25-34 it says: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

I absolutely love this verse. With the hectic life that I live it is EXTREMELY easy to find myself getting caught up in this state of anxiety.  I constantly have to remind myself that if I do my part, God will help me with the rest.  I know that school is what I have worked hard for these past years but even now that I am where I want to be, I still worry. I worry about my family, friends, whether or not I can continue to work at the places I love, whether or not I am doing my part in school, etc. but God CONSTANTLY reminds me that he has gotten me this far and that he is going to continue to guide me through these times.  I know that God is working tremendously through this season in my life.  He has continued to show me his gracious love that I do not deserve. Oh what an absolute mess I would be without him.  So every time I have a slight feeling of worry, I am reminded of the promises that God has given us.  He shows us in Matthew that he ALWAYS provides even for the little birdies and flowers (I wanted this image depicted on my Toms). I mean come on now, what makes me think he will not provide for me?? Instead of worrying, I need to focus on the path that God is continually laying down before me.

In Revelation 22: 1-3 it says: "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb ² down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. ³ No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him"I love the truth that lies behind this passage. God promises us the tree (eternal salvation) and water of life (His love) to possess for eternity. The things of this world are only temporary and one day I look forward to spending the rest of my life with my Heavenly Father who has never let me down.  I know that I long to live on this earth impacting those who are striving for something more, for those who want to fill this void that they have in their life so that they can feel genuinely happy. I want to be God's light and through my schooling, workplace, and friendships, I know that this can be done!! So with this verse as a reminder for what is to come, I wanted it to also be illustrated on my shoes. 

Here is the final product...

... it was love at first sight!! Thank you so much Linna for doing these for me :) God has definitely blessed you tremendously with your artistic abilities and I know for a fact that you have an awesome future awaiting you.

I would just like to say to anyone who is reading this that if you ever feel like you are alone and nobody knows what you are going through, God is there.  At any moment he is waiting for you to reach out to Him and ask for help.  I have been at that place before where I felt so confused and anxious about what I am to do in life. But through all my perseverance, he as showed me that he has nothing but a prosperous future awaiting me.

To all of my lovely family and friends, I would like to say that I appreciate your support and prayers. I am constantly being attacked by the devil but it is okay because I have God on my side and I WILL come out victorious. Keep me in your prayers as I attempt and overcome another LONG semester in DH school. Love you guys :)